Have you ever played a game that has frustrated you from the first moment you started playing? Playing Ape Academy is like playing a horrible and slow version of Wario Ware, with themes from Barney. Ape AcademyWario Ware has been to the DS and GBA, but fails on just about every level. Sony took the cute and innocent apes and massacred them.

The game is divided into years, and each year you have a new teacher with clever names like "Yellow Monkey" or "White Monkey". The teachers also have some very lame catch phrases like, “If you want a brain like mine, you’ll have to work for it!” In each year, there’s a tic-tac-toe board with 9 different mini-games that you can choose from. That’s great, except you’ll end up playing them all anyways, regardless if you pass the requirements or not.

Loading times are frequently interrupting the flow of things as well. They try to counter the loading times by presenting games during the loads, but most of the time the controls don’t explain anything and when you start the mini-game, you’re completely confused. Then, of course, after the mini-game, you’re back to the loading screen to go back to the tic-tac-toe board.

Sadly, the mini-games are the worst part of the game. Sure, maybe 1 out of the 9 might be pretty neat, but the rest of them are unimaginative and lack any resemblance to fun. In one of the mini-games, you have to answer math problems. In another, you have to pass out roses to the people walking by. Counting monkeys as they run by isn’t my idea of fun. Most of the other games are just as awful as these examples, except maybe one or two which I could see myself playing, like Mon Quixote, where you block all the arrows coming at you with your shield.

The graphics for most games consist of a static background with the action being the only thing moving. The colors are vibrant, but other than that, there’s nothing special about the graphics. The characters themselves don’t look that great. They’re very boring and lack any real detail. Most everything is extremely blocky. This title has all of the aspects of a first generation PSP title, which it was in Japan.

The sound department lacks as well, and that includes an unmemorable soundtrack and the annoying screeches of apes. I thought the screeches were a neat touch, but after hearing the same one for the umpteenth time, I quickly got annoyed. There are some levels that are DDR style, but the music in those levels is definitely lacking any style.

If you win, you can collect one of the many ape trophies, but it’s just not worth it. Playing through these mini-games makes me wonder what took this game so long to get translated. The mini-games are horrible, and everything in the game is completely lacking. The game offers some 13 multiplayer mini-games with a single PSP, but only 4 in the ad-hoc mode. There’s not much to keep you coming back.

For everything that Wario Ware was on the DS and GBA, Ape Academy is not. Don’t be fooled by the cuteness of the Apes on the cover. You may get one or two minutes of enjoyment out of this title, but everything else is not worth it. With a price tag of $40, this game should be avoided at all costs. You’ll soon find it in the bargain bin and it still won’t be worth the purchase…except maybe for $1, Bob.